Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Flux Capacitor!

It is hard to believe that it is the 25th anniversary of the movie Back to the Future!   That was such a weird, yet successful movie at the time...so popular it yeilded 2 sequels.   I think just the concept of being able to travel back in time and hang out with your parents when they were your age, or time travel at all, was mindblowing and awesome at the same time.  Not to mention the way cool Delorian that looked sooo futuristic at the time, it blew us away with the flapping doors and metallic body color!   I always thought Michael J. Fox was a cutie too.  Amazing that he hasn't aged much since that movie!   He still looks the same now as he did back then!!!

It got me thinking, if my younger self met my older self today would I think I was cool?   Probably not.  I didn't think many people in their 40s were cool when I was a teenager.  They were all in the category of my parents.  OLD.   There were adults that I thought were slightly hipper than my parents but still not on the level of cool.  I wonder what would happen if my younger self and my older self sat down for lunch or for a few drinks...what kind of conversation would we have?   Sometimes I think I was more sure of myself when I was younger.  I felt passion for causes, I stood up for things I believed in, I rebelled against my parents when I was sure I was right about something.  I defended people they didn't trust or like.  I threw fits and flew off the handle when I felt like things were too much to handle.  I cried a lot more.  I was extremely emotional, and loyal to my friends.  I was territorial over things I loved.    As an adult, some of that fire in me has fizzled, because society doesn't look kindly on a 42 year old woman freaking out and having emotional outbursts over things she believes in.   It isn't as easy to be as passionate about things you believe in without all kinds of people who don't agree with what you say judging you for those thoughts.  You also have to consider your spouse and your children when you make comments, you no longer can make statements based totally on you anymore.  So you tend to hide feelings and thoughts to remain politically correct or even sane for that matter!   You can no longer advertise with as much freedom your beliefs as you used to as a younger person.  

I also wonder what I would think of the younger me if I were to meet my younger self now as an adult.   Would I hire me to babysit my kids?   Would I laugh at the things that I believe in and brush me off as a silly kid who has miles to go before really understanding the ways of the world?   Or would I be envious of all those years ahead to make new choices, take new roads, create my future?   What kind of advice would I want to give me?   Would I want to try to keep myself from making all the mistakes I made, or would I let me make them because without them I wouldn't have learned the life lessons I have learned?   It all comes down to living with regrets or not living with regrets.  It is an interesting thing to think about, that is for sure!!

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